I hope Im not discrediting him but that feeling lingers and wont go away. But how do I reach him? Im definitely not relationship counselor. You didnt respond but thats ok, thats not why Im writing. I considered that cheating on me as well. We are both very dependent on each other because we started dating when we were 16/17 years old. I got clean last time, this time is was sporadic use, and bloody stupid. Despite this, she got pregnant by hoodrat and still come to me for help till date. So you have allowed one person into your inner world, in the course of being together, and each step of the way you felt understood. Im planning on trying to carry myself as if I had no worries in the world. Hello Dr. Deb I was naive in thinking that not reaching my goals wouldnt hurt anyone. I dont need you to tell us what you did to him. From that day forward I changed everything in the way that I support her financially and emotionally. But I really feel like I am at a fork in my life, I dont know if I should just let him go or hold on and try to fix things.any help would be appreciated. It might also be worth it to talk to him. But it also takes honesty from you to them. What can I do, or do I do anything at all yet and just give him time to process it all? That I had some huge disappointments to get through (school fails, dream fails, health fails) and 6 months ago I was kissing him and was distracted. 3 times, with one person. It is possible for a person to change. Not in rude way but in a tune that my question was irrelevant. True love is just a special feeling .u love someone without condition without knowing any thing.. The unknown. It never happened. Spark a Love Connection It makes it hard to work toward reconciliation when she gives me little but fleeting hope and she still talks to Mr. perfect over in India. It took me a while to learn to trust either of them again but I did it. Dont start explaining everything. Cheating involves a lot of hurtful secrecy, so you'll know he wants to make things work with you if he's suddenly more open, honest, and genuine than ever before . I really need your help DrDeb. Anyway, please see an MFT together. The third among the 15 ideas for a perfect first date is to buy her flowers before she arrives If things are starting off well, then its time for some action now, which will make the girl smile at least once during the course of your date. I used it on my girlfriend for 9 months. I love this woman with every ounce of my soul. I see her on Saturday night and she holds me and says I feel great to her, but she seems distant. If only Id been more patient and stayed away from her awhile so she could have been thinking like she said she would. p.s he has no relationships with anyone. He had sent it 9 months earlier when he was pushing me away. But I did what I had to do in writing and verbally. I had a 5 years of marriage. I have been in a relationship with my husband for almost 8 years and almost 6 years of being married. I dont want to keep hurting him. On the Sunday when we spoke before she when to her Mums I asked her why she hadnt said anything sooner and she said because Im really good at talking things through, getting her to see the positives and change her mind (be work, friendships, anything shes need to talk about) and she said she didnt her mind to be changed. I have been with a man twice my age for four years now he has broken and shook my trust in every way possible. Now, after some counseling, we are trying to rebuild our marriage, BUT, I have EXTREME ANXIETY. thats the way i wanted to be, the way we have always been. I wish I could change the past but I cantI clearly didnt love him thenor if I did I loved myself moreI was a selfish child I know but what do I do now? Two options for you are couples counseling or, as I suggested to the person who wrote just before you, the video on my website is a good beginning at self-help if you would both watch it. Good luck everyone out there!!! Thats the love that keeps couples together for 50 years. Of course i never did. nobody. He is gone 4 to 6 weeks and only home for 3 to 5 days. I do not believe this can be accomplished without outside help. but i apologised idk what more i should do. Thats real love. my concern is, if Sarah happens to be my ex, how should i go about this this time?. He said he hit his breaking point and he needed to leave the relationship. This is confusing to me because we havent actually broken up and he still shows me some affection on occasion, we still get intimate, and I even get that glimpse of love in his eyes I used to see all the time, but only for a moment. It will be a very good step for you. I know he loves me, as he said leaving was not a matter of love but a matter of being healthy. He didnt know what his problem was, he didnt like the fact of him cheating on me, and he didnt want to lose me. My BF will not leave unless i get a restarining order on him and the police tell him he has to leave. i do not know what to do or where to turn? I dont know what is missing, but in order for a relationship to stick after many years, there have to be compliments, little ways to show one another you care, etc. And just over a year since we first broke up. When I finally realized it was there, I stopped those behaviors. Im not going to apologize for what I type. My ex and I have been together for pretty much 4 years. How do I trust him again? Theres a bunch on my own website about the emotional and spiritual component of sex (drdeb.com). My boyfriend and I met 2 years ago, I fell for him first sight. He says I really hurt him when I did that and he doesnt know how to get around it. I initiated the movejust to see her for the first time in 9 months. kids need their own home surrounded by their own familiar things and focus on yourself and them. If you go to my other blog, on my website, drdeb.com, there are some articles that deal with sex, porn, and so forth. The fact is that Im really not sure and this attitude doesnt help me make my mind. We have two beautiful children. He is so full of resentment and anger towards me. After about 3 years of physical and mental abuse, can she love me again? On the other hand, your continued acceptance of him is actually coming across to him as a green light to continue his behavior no matter what he does. Talking with him doesnt help. Since then I have turned all of that around but it was still very up and down for a long time. But I do not want him to touch me period. But lets suppose Im right: You fantasize how life would be with this guy. and thats what hurts me the most. My daughter was very sick even at home. Our four conversations have been long and we laugh and joke like we used to, but I know the relationship has forever changed and she has stitched her heart back together while mine is still raw. I try to talk with her with different apps she talk with me for-awhile and she either uninstall the app or block me for no reason. He left again the following week and we didnt talk again. Hi Thomas I have gone through difficult situations of betrayal with him and I lost trust in him then slowly we started in what you described as falling back in love and regaining that trust. You dont really love him; you feel needy. I met my girlfriend during my senior year and her freshman year of college. I just want to have her trust back.i want to have our happiness back. I was hurt & disillusioned. He actually came!! That is exactly what happens when youre not THERE. how ever the problem i have is the age difference. Hi The Lightened, But he was the one ignoring me and the problems in our relationship and it seemed like the more I tried to love him the more he pushed me away. Shes open to becoming friends eventually and she even said she would probably need at the very least a year to even consider getting back together, but thats ok. So I guess I always expect the worst and questioned him ask him to delete all his social media sites and quit contact with them. I have apologized to her but with each passing day I feel like she is beginning to hate and resent me for what I did to her. She wohldnt want to hear about it or apologize. Next, the panic attack and the over-working the workout are something that worries me. I didnt want to move away and be alone while dealing with issues in our relationship. You are surprised when your sister is late (yet again), but you had kind of expected it. I too loved him very much. So, yes, I answer but no, I dont always comment. In the beginning of our relationship (only being 2 weeks into with stron soul mate compatibility) I told a lie, she wanted to meet me the next day after conversing with her for the second time. Go and get a bible. When he realized how i treated him he changed he sais he lost respect for me he heard rumors aboute cheating on him and makes everything worst he said he dosent want me anymore or ever want to be with me .. All he said is maybe with time , or maybe after you have the baby but i i dont know out relationshil was deel and we were very comfortable with eachother . He says he is in love with me. but the trust is gone in this relationship dr. and the worst part was he got to know from him that we were in touch . What do I do? He is a musician and loves to perform on stage with his band. That is something he will have to work on. I know this is controversial but the chemistry that we share is so great and it never disappears, not even during our crisis. I gave him a chance to walk away, he fell apart said he missed me so much loved me so much. He has a very hard time apologizing and admitting he was wrong. I know I have feelings for him because just the taught of losing him makes me sick and after everything hes done I still choose him over any other guy. This is why she sees you as stuck in a cage. My husbands reasoning was better education opportunities for our daughters. Who knew that within a few years we would be turning 60 and we would be in such a bad space with no strong & warm bond guiding & carrying us through difficulties which we may face as our golden years filter through our veins? Help! Thank you for your comment, Confused. I asked him to respect my decision to give my advice as I feel it was adequate = he said my decisions are shit. started to disappear cause of the absence of my Hi Samuel Still, cheating is cheating. He used to be a very emotional manhe would cry sometimes just because he loved me so much. I dont want this relationship feeling like this. Is it possoble and whar should I do. I was done. I am at a loss as to what to do reached that what is the point question. I think I married him because I felt sorry for him. A stupid part of me still liked him, so I always left a window he could reach me through. What can I do to leave the past in the past? Like in your article, Ive realized I need to allow him space and deal with what hes feeling before we can take the next step. I have lost all her trust. Should I do that ? Our dark past has affected us both and I wish there was a way we could both get pass this hurdle and rebuild our trust for each other. He could not understand that respect is given but trust is earned. This was 3 weeks ago. I know he have no trust in me nor rs. I am so hurt by how he is treating me. So I moved on and started dating and net someone really amazing, very ambitious, sweet, smart And about a month in a half later. 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